TAMARA
ANNA: What is a significant lesson you’ve learned from your family?
TAMARA: That goodness attracts goodness. I see it everywhere in my family; we’re all so close, these blood ties we have are rare.
A: Do you think the fact that Ponza is such a small place has helped with your relationships?
T: It definitely helped, but there are also plenty of families who live practically in the same square meter and don’t even talk to one another. For me, Ponza definitely helped on a family level but also in terms of friendships. I mean, there are friendships I didn’t choose because there were only four people my age...but over the years those friendships have endured, even when I left the island or when my friends moved away. It’s like an anchor that keeps you grounded, steady.
A: Why did you leave?
T: I had this deep desire to go, and my parents always encouraged me to see the world outside our little island bubble, it was beautiful and exciting. Plus, I’m a very determined person, I’ve always had goals in life, and I’ve followed them.
A: Would you go back to live in Ponza?
T: No. I mean, it’s complicated… If you’d asked me this at 18, I would’ve said I’d feel like a failure after all the sacrifices I made. But now I think it’s more a matter of opportunities, there’s no long-term vision, and many people don’t understand that results take time.
A: What does being a woman mean to you?
T: I’m really proud to have been born a woman. We have to fight, but I’m proud of the progress we’ve made, my mom raised me on independence—it was bread and independence.
A: Do you think being a woman in Ponza is different from being a woman in Milan?
T: Yes and no. There are more opportunities in general in a city, the fact that you’re not known by everyone and that not everyone knows everything about you makes you feel freer The mindset of an island is definitely more narrow, in Ponza there are so many labels, taboos, and topics that aren’t understood.
A: What kinds of topics?
T: For example, homosexuality. Especially among the younger generations, many don’t understand that things are, thankfully, changing and that you can’t make jokes about it not even understand that things are, thankfully, changing and that you can’t make jokes about it not even as a joke anymore. And when I call them out on it, I’m always seen as the “serious one.” I think it’s because, being such a small place, they’ve never really had the experience of someone openly sharing their struggles, so I don’t think it’s malice, but ignorance.
Or take abortion, a recurring topic with my mom, who is very religious. In her Catholic view, abortion is something reserved for extreme cases, she’s not against it, thank God, but she sees it as a very specific and determined situation. I, on the other hand, see it as a choice, rightfully, the woman’s choice, regardless of her circumstances, I want kids someday, but I believe there needs to be the right factors for them.