MICHELA
ANNA: Tell me a bit about why you moved to Paris.
MICHI: I moved to Paris because I felt trapped in a very closed mindset in Milan, especially with my peers, I felt like I wasn’t being valued. I was really tied down by other people’s opinions and judgments, unable to create a narrative for myself.
A: What kind of constraints are you talking about?
M: I’m talking about the closed mentality in Italy—like teachers making jokes in class that create a hierarchy between boys and girls, as a joke they say, always as a joke… I don’t think this specific behavior leads men to become violent towards women, but what does it make them think? That it’s acceptable to do these things, to make these jokes. Even worse, that we women have to accept it. That I, as a woman, have to be cautious about something that’s not in my control.
A: Are there any taboos in your family?
M: Definitely, especially when it comes to the topic of sexuality. At home, it’s a hard subject to approach, I’ve never even heard my mom openly say the word “sex,” for example. Since I was little, it was kind of implied that as women, we have to be much more careful about what we say, what we wear, and how we present ourselves.
This had a strong impact on my personal growth, for many years, I thought exploring my own sexuality was somewhat wrong. I was very closed off to the idea of discovering myself, partly because I always went to religious schools.
It’s as simple as the dress code at school, girls couldn’t even have bare shoulders because it was considered “inappropriate” now, as an adult looking back, I think, they were the ones making it inappropriate. A six-year-old girl with bare shoulders is just a six-year-old girl who’s warm…
A: And how did you feel when you moved to Paris?
M: I felt freer, I felt like I could be myself, like I could grow.
A: You also have your mother’s surname right? How does that make you feel?
M: I’m super proud to have my mom’s surname because it’s part of my DNA; it’s really part of who I am. Being able to use my mom’s surname to define myself is something very special to me.
A: What kind of woman do you want to become in the future?
M: I want to be an example for others in my own small way. Maybe it’s easier to answer this question by saying, “If I were a mother one day, what would I teach my children?”
I’d teach them respect, as my mom taught me, respect for themselves and for others. But I’d also teach them that each of us is the narrator of our own life, and that’s how it should be. You have to be your own person first.
It’s like when you’re unwell but want to help others, if you’re not okay, you have to heal yourself first before you can take that step to care for others.