CLARA
ANNA: What kind of woman do you want to become in the future?
CLARA: Well, I’d like to be a woman who knows how to listen more, and I’d like to dwell less on every little detail, still focusing on the important things, of course. I want to be freer and more open. I think I could achieve this by reading more, especially books that tell stories of all kinds, even argumentative ones, particularly about anthropology and human behavior.
A: What’s a big passion of yours?
C: A passion… I like working with my hands. It’s the only time I can really focus: I can stay silent, not talk, not notice the little details I mentioned earlier, I can even stop thinking because I’m just immersed in what I’m doing.
A: Speaking of listening, do you feel listened to?
C: No.
A: Do you maybe feel more looked at than listened to, especially by your peers?
C: Yes. Let’s say people listen only when they know there’s something else to gain afterward. Like if it’s a guy trying to hit on you, maybe to eventually sleep with you, or a friend who sees you as a way to meet other people, other groups, go on trips, or visit places. I’m speaking generally, of course. Everyone just looks at each other but doesn’t truly listen.
A: What are your fears?
C: I’m afraid of dissociating, even in easy situations. I’m physically there, but my mind isn’t, I get quiet; I stay silent. I’m scared because I feel strange, different, especially to myself, not to others and I ask myself, “What am I doing? What am I achieving like this?”
A: What does being a woman mean to you?
C: Well, a “little woman” because I’m not quite a full-grown woman yet… Honestly, the only place where I don’t feel like a woman or rather, where I feel equal to a man is at home, in my classroom, or with my teachers, there’s truly no difference. But as soon as I step outside, it all changes: the guys in the courtyard yell, while the girls stay quiet if interrupted.
In the city, it’s awful. The comments and gestures men make… everyone just looks but doesn’t act. There’s no education, and that’s how we end up here. You can even see it in the Italian language, the difference is imbedded into the words.
Everything is normalized, if someone casually calls a woman a "slut" just because she crosses the street where she's not supposed to, then the next step is normalizing a butt grab, normalizing catcalling, and eventually normalizing rape. We need to be careful with the words we use.
A: And what do you like about being a "little woman," as you put it?
C: I like feeling really feminine when I’m with my friends and when we all talk together, sometimes even shouting. That makes me feel even more like a woman. I love having a sensitivity towards other women, maybe when one of us feels insecure about her body. Those moments of sisterhood and of mutual support are so special to me.