CHIARA
CHIARA: Sorry for bringing you out here in the cold, but, as you can see, the stroller works like magic, and if I want a conversation lasting longer than three minutes, well, this is one of the few chances.
ANNA: Don’t worry. My first question for you is: how would your 20-year-old self see you now?
C: The Chiara who was on Erasmus in Granada would find me extremely boring now. Back then, I definitely didn’t imagine starting a family or, let’s say, losing a bit of myself for my kids. To be fair, I never had very clear plans—I’ve always had a big passion for travelling, I even worked as a guide on cruise ships for three years and that felt like living in a bubble while the world outside kept moving forward.
A:Where have you found your greatest sources of fulfillment?
C: I’d say I don’t necessarily find them at work but elsewhere. Certainly in having children—something that’s hard to truly understand until you have them. Another thing that comes to mind is that now I feel calm and secure about what I have, but a huge source of pride has been maintaining a relationship with a woman despite others’ expectations.
Before Barbara, I spent 33 years of my life thinking I was straight, and then I fell in love with a woman, which kind of knocked the ground out from under me.
A: How did you manage to free yourself from others’ judgment?
C: It was a long process. We met at work, and I had just come out of a relationship with a man and all I knew was that I wanted to take a trip, she stood by me and supported me during moments of vulnerability. The first time I realized I was attracted to her, a woman, it felt like my world was crumbling. I thought I knew who I was; I had completely different expectations for myself.
A: Tell me about the significance of traveling for you
C: It’s as if city life and everyday routines cover me in dust, and traveling helps to brush that dust off.
This particular journey was about regaining confidence in myself. I went to Cambodia, traveling really serves as theraphy for me. When I’m alone, I have to draw on my inner resources to handle any kind of challenge.There are plenty of moments of discouragement but also many moments of great clarity and peace.
A: What does being a woman mean to you?
C: Being a woman right now probably means being fully aware that the patriarchy exists and recognizing that we ourselves are a part of it, too. For example, now that we’re raising a son and a daughter, saying things like, “Boys are slower, and girls are quicker” or similar comments... I sometimes catch myself falling into that trap. So, we need to work on dismantling those prejudices.